I didn’t realise before having kids that in being with my daughter, I’d have an extraordinary opportunity – a second chance – to revisit my own childhood, to have access to memories and situations that felt long gone and erased. And that her experiences would trigger and mirror countless of situations from my own childhood, so it could all shift and be healed within me. Because in every moment, when I am able to consciously be present for her, I am also holding the space for my own inner child. To be back there again but this time with a power to protect and to put right what wasn’t.
Children really are incredible masters and teachers, if we only choose to see them this way. Here is what I am learning – although at times still very clumsily – from my toddler.
✨ To follow what sparks joy and curiosity at any given moment, even if that means completely dropping that previous idea from one minute ago.
✨ To align back to enthusiasm quickly, no matter how massive of a drama something just was.
✨ To state all desires boldly and stubbornly, AND expect things to come easily.
✨ To KNOW with certainty that we each have a world that totally DOES revolve around us.
✨ To rejoice in the movement of the body and be amazed at how it works.
✨ To be fearless in testing the body to do something new every day.
✨ To dance in the way that is most fun, without any refinement or embarrassment.
✨ To be profoundly delighted with the smallest of details throughout the day.
✨ To admire nature with curiosity.
✨ To be amazed at the starry sky and the moon in all of its phases.
✨ To not take the world and the whole reality so seriously, because absolutely everything can be turned into a game.
✨ To get lost in play and be unafraid to get messy.
✨ To be a real scientist and patiently return to trying something countless number of times, until the hypothesis works.
✨ To be unafraid to fail and go for whatever seems like a fun idea, discarding the voices saying that it won’t work. Those voices usually come from us adults, and become the inner voices of our children.
✨ To see anyone as a potential friend and play partner, regardless of their colour, size, age or ability. The other day my daughter asked us to go say hello to an elderly gentleman in the park, and I realised I was the one who felt shy about it.
✨ To dress in the way that best expresses the mood of the day, even if that means pink for a month or only choosing clothes that flow while dancing.
✨ To let the hair down because ‘it’s nice to feel the wind in them’.
✨ To be able to rest with ease anywhere.
✨ To choose food intuitively and refuse what does not taste or feel nice.
✨ To heal and recover quickly by completely releasing resistance to feeling unwell, collapsing on the sofa to watch funny cartoons and fasting.
✨ To self-soothe and be one’s own therapist. Have you ever watched kids play and replay the same scenario of something that happened recently that they found upsetting, or where they felt overpowered? They will keep switching between the roles and acting out both sides to find their own inner reconciliation and resolution.
✨ To test all the limits and daily push beyond them.
✨ To be intolerant of anything that does not feel good because it is GOOD to feel good, satisfied and in the state of flow. As adults, we have been trained to tolerate incredible discomfort in various situations rather than do something about them or change how we perceive them.
✨ To live slowly and pause for an ant on the road as if it is the most important thing in that moment. Because it is.
Oh yeah. And I’ve also learned that, apparently, there is absolutely no law anywhere that forbids anyone on the streets to suddenly – from the top of one’s lungs – burst into the ‘A BEE CHEE DEE EE EP GEE!’ song. I think I really need to take advantage of that one more often.Tags: childhood conscious parenting following joy in the flow mindfulness