The shadows of the past

We keep stirring up the cauldron of the past. We keep dressing ourselves up in the same old costumes that we outgrew long ago and keep jumping right back into the same old roles. ‘The youngest one’, ‘the one who had something to prove’, the one who got dumped’, ‘the warrior’, ‘the survivor’, on and on. Over and over again.

Each time we do that, it isn’t just that we recreate it as an image in our mind’s eye, but we actually reawaken a living breathing version of it within ourselves. We lift up all that dust from the past. We fill ourselves up with it, we trap it all again in the very core of our cells. We re-act-ivate it in our energy fields. Because the past is not static and fixed like they teach us in the museums or frozen history books. It constantly moulds and rearranges and changes. Why else do you think nobody ever agrees on the same version of any events?

A focused point of consciousness is the beam that creates everything into being, that conjures matter from the realms that cannot be seen. And there are no limits to this creation. There are no limits to searching for the smallest particle in the Universe, nor for its furthest edge. Because the moment the focus is placed on something, it becomes more. Likewise, there are no limits to the depth and darkness of our past pain and suffering, nor to the heights of our worries and fears about the future. So each time we go back to the past, we deepen it. We create more of it.

When past memories and emotions come up to surface, they do so in order to leave, to be let go of. But each time we grab them by the hand and ask them to go for a walk, we convince them to stay and to echo in our cells just that little bit longer. We squeeze ourselves back into those ill-fitting robes just one more time, even though the discomfort is telling us we can no longer be contained there.

We can choose to make it our life’s mission to be the archaeologists of our own past, to keep sifting and digging in search for meaning. Or even – why stop at the present life? We can go back to the other lifetimes, to the roles of Cleopatras and kings. We have absolute freedom to do that. As long as we know that when we do that, we forget all the power that we have right in this moment, even whilst not wearing a crown.

The past is not us, the past needs not define us. Rather it is simply a path that allowed us to define with precision what it is that we desire, what it is that we want to create. So next time it bubbles up to the surface, acknowledge it with a nod, and a word or two of gratitude before you wave it goodbye. Trusting – fully trusting – that all the insights and lessons and definitions have already been extracted from it. The juiciest part is always here and now. The greatest power of creation is here and now. The key point in your life’s play is always here and now. And you are the one who gets to define your role. ✨

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